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But what happens when we find out?

I never imagine somebody from Romania could have such a coherent and modern view about what a library is or could be in a (rural) community. Dimitrie Gusti did before the WWII. It hurts to see that, even though he had the ideas and the power to implement them, he did not have time to do it and we are now far from where we should be when it comes to public libraries and community centers in Romania.     

“The library is not a joke. It is not an ornament for the cultural center. It ought to circulate and reach out. Our libraries are static. They exist for the crowds to rush to their doors and shelves. But nobody rushes to the book shelves. The library remains closed, and the village continues to work the field and gossip. Such a library is either an irony or a falsehood. It needs to emerge from inside as a need of the soul. The thirst of books engenders it…A good [cultural ] center will be the one which makes its virtue the dissemination of books.”(Gusti D. translation Anghelescu H.)

The biggest lie is to say that you can understand what somebody is feeling when you never experienced something similar. The closest think to understanding it, would be to imagine how it feels like based on some similar experience of yours.

There was some talk last weeks about sexual abused small girls and some celebrities were defending them, trying to explain how much, an unfortunate experience like that, can affect them. I  felt very sorry for the abused children and, of course, very angry with the abusers but I could not really see how this can affect all their life…Now I can see how. I had a car accident last week and even though nobody was physically hurt, it was not my fault, I started to feel depressed. My body was in shock after it happened and my mind was sending “everything is OK” messages but the body did not respond for a long time. I still feel guilty for something that happened that it was not my fault. Now I can start to imagine how hard must be  for a small girl to try to make sense of a person abusing her.

 I am happy that I can find NGO’s like Artemis – Center for concealing against sexual abuses and violence close to my home back in Romania.  I never could completely understand what are these people doing but now I come to appreciate their work.  First of all they support people that really need somebody to understand them.

When I first heard this song, as an adult, in a children library program for toddlers, I thought …well, this is not a nice song since all five ducks leave their mother, one by one. Even though at the end of the song “all five little ducks come back “, I thought this was a rather sad song. However time passed and I heard it so many times that I stated not to pay attention to my feelings and thought about it as a “happy” song.

Last week, while traveling, we sang this song in the car and when I looked back to check the kids, my big girl was in tears. I could see that she was trying to hold her tears but when “none of the five little ducks came back” she burst out crying. I tried to explain to her that all ducks came back and everything was fine…it did not help. She made me promise not to sing it again. I knew exactly what she felt like but I did not think a 4 year old can feel that much and that deep about a song. Especially if so many people seem not to be bothered about what it means.

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